As a parent, guardian, or primary caregiver, your first instinct may be to protect and nurture individuals (and especially children) with special needs. And although your intent is good, being too supportive of your child may actually cause you to unknowingly remove opportunities for independence. For individuals with special needs, learning to be independent has many benefits. The feeling of satisfaction that comes with completing a task on their own can help them gain confidence and continue to grow on a personal level. That’s why it’s so important to encourage independence in individuals with special needs.
Here are just some of the ways you can help your loved one develop good habits and learn to complete tasks on their own. Remember that this process takes time and will require your patience and support. We believe every individual with special needs can learn to be independent and live a fulfilling life.
Find out what your loved one is interested in and start building out a plan to achieve their desired goals. What is it that they want to learn or accomplish? Set goals with realistic timelines. Offer support where needed, but remember to let your loved one work on mastering these tasks at their own pace. Adding goals and milestones is a great way to keep your loved one motivated to learn new skills. Plus, they will feel a great sense of accomplishment after completing new tasks.
The process behind developing independence takes time and a whole lot of patience. Rather than trying to accomplish independence overnight, focus on changing aspects of your loved one’s day-to-day life. Small changes will add up, which can help your loved one develop good life-long habits. Additionally, change can be overwhelming for individuals who are accustomed to consistency and routines. Introduce these changes slowly and offer more limited support before moving on to more challenging tasks.
As you begin to slowly incorporate new tasks into your loved one’s routines, remember that these changes will take time. Most individuals will not be able to master a skill on their first attempt, so learning new skills can be a long and challenging process. Although we may instinctively want to help individuals complete these tasks as quickly efficiently as possible, remember that this takes away their chance to learn independence. Provide them ample time and encouragement as they learn new skills.
Remember that there is a difference between offering support and controlling what your loved one does. Many of us instinctively try to control situations, especially in situations that involve an individual with special needs or certain limitations. However, controlling situations (and the individual) does not offer room for personal growth and development. Mastering independence comes from having the approval, comfort, and encouragement to attempt a task alone or with minimal support. Switching from controlling to supporting can take time, so be patient with yourself. Give your loved one the opportunity to do what they like, not what you want them to do. Offer support where necessary, but encourage them to complete the task on your own—not just because you want them to, but because they want to.
It can be tempting to want to offer immediate support for tasks. But your loved one is far more capable than you think! If your child or loved one can get dressed, brush their teeth, or do other tasks by themselves, let them do it even if it takes a little bit longer. Even though it might be easier (or faster) for you to do it for them, they won’t learn how to do things for themselves if you are always completing tasks for them. Keep giving your loved one opportunities to practice and improve their skills.
We all want our loved ones to succeed. However, don’t make new tasks too easy for your loved one just so they will succeed. Be strategic in assigning challenges that you know they can realistically achieve with some effort or practice. They will begin to see that they can accomplish things if they put their mind to it and give some extra effort. And if a task is a little too challenging for them, consider ways to adapt it to their current abilities. As they start to grow and develop their skills, you can make additional adjustments to these tasks to build their independence.
Take the time to celebrate small wins and attempts toward change. For an individual with special needs, completing a new task that is outside of their comfort zone can be daunting and overwhelming. So, once they have completed a new task, be sure to celebrate and give them genuine praise and encouragement. This will help them associate completing new tasks with receiving positive benefits. Help them build confidence and get them excited to complete the next task.
If you have a child with special needs, chances are they may feel uncomfortable or unsafe in new or different settings. This is completely normal, but it may prevent them from enjoying new things later on in life (such as summer travel programs, sleep-away camps, or college). Encourage them to go to sleepovers with friends to get them used to sleeping away from home. This is an easy way to ease the difficulty of adjusting to life away from their parents or guardians. Plus, it gives them a good opportunity to practice some of the skills you’ve been teaching them along the way.
Encouraging independence for individuals with special needs is a huge undertaking. The process can be overwhelming and even a little bit stressful as you learn to relinquish some control. But remember: you aren’t alone in this process. Talk with teachers, therapists, and other professionals about how you can foster independence in your loved one. Maintain open lines of communication to share strategies and come up with new approaches. Make sure everyone is on the same page so that you can all work toward the same goals.
Every individual with special needs deserves to live a fulfilling life. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to let them develop the skills they need to live an independent lifestyle. This process takes time and patience, but the results will be well worth it in the end.
As a quick summary, here are some of the ways you can help promote independence in your loved one:
On Angel’s Wings, Inc. is an organization based on Christian values that provides services and support for individuals and families with special needs. Since 2003, we have offered a variety of home and community-based services for our members, including
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about us, please reach out to our office at (623) 780-5690 or send an email to contact@onangelswingsaz.com. We look forward to meeting you and your family!